Rumours about a possible accommodation shortage were proved to be true yesterday when tents appeared on the lawns of the Senate House in the centre of Cambridge.
It’s long been thought that the educational elite were suffering from a lack of space to rest their weary bonces but the true scale of the lack of bonking bedspace was revealed yesterday when tents appeared on the lawns of the famous Senate House. Well known as the place where students are awarded degrees and then stand outside on the pristine lawns so that tourists can gawp at them and take pictures.
But even at this late stage the authorities have been quick to deny any kind of living drought. It’s reported that during the night university officials distributed banners and slogans to make it appear that the true reason for the tented village was a protest against student fees.
Banners saying, “Occupation against fees and cuts”, “The morning. Truth or Myth?” and “Lectures are bad for my social life” failed to convince onlookers who could see from the way that the tents were placed (in the shape of a pound sign) that this was no ordinary protest. And the fact that one of the university wardens was walking around collecting rents.
The truth finally came out when a college official was cornered, plied with red wine, forced to sing around a camp fire and finally admitted that the slogans were all a bit of a sham to prevent potential future students from being put off enrolling.
In a somewhat defensive manner he admitted, “Well it’s not that bad, they have heating (pointing to a brazier and some firewood on the lawn) and it’s nice and light and airy. They just have to bugger off for the afternoon when a degree ceremony is booked. The Archaeology students had to be banned though, they had a tendancy to tumble straight out of their tents and start digging up the lawn.”