Archives for February 2011

The Tudors: Fiction, History or Ficstory?

The Tudors: Fiction, History or Ficstory?

The Tudors: Would you want to meet them down a dark alley?

Well, if you’re a fan of The Tudors (and I definately am) then you’ll have not missed last nights ‘slaughterhouse’ episode. This was the one where the producers dramatically reduced, quite literally, the head count of the actors / actresses on their payroll.

As for whether any of it was historically accurate or not? To paraphrase the bard, “Fact or History? That, matey, is the question.”

The Wikipedia entry for The Tudors states:

Events in the series differ from events as they actually happened in history. Liberties are taken with character names, relationships, physical appearance and the timing of events.

Ah well, they haven’t fiddled with too much then.

To be honest it’s all a damn good, Carry On style romp and I would hazard a guess that if a true historical fact slipped in here and there it was more of an accident than intentional. I’m sure the company making this programme on the end credits was called “MakeItUpAsYouGoAlong Productions.”

The list could probably go on for pages and pages but some highlights of The Tudors are:-

  • The fact that King Henty VIII (played by Jonathan Rhys Meyers) doesnt’t appear to age much. Apart from a little distinguished greying around his still luscious locks that is.
  • He doesn’t seem to be very portly as popularly displayed in other portrayls AND the history books. Either that or he is wearing the World’s best girdle.
  • The famous damaged leg appears to miraculously heal itself and then re-appear again week by week and even during an episode.
  • All of his wives are beautiful even though the contempory pictures of them show them as looking well, pretty ugly really.

But that’s alright. You can’t let some boring, stuffy textbook facts get in the way of nudity coupled with a liberal helping of good old Tudor rumpy, pumpy.

And I was particularly impressed with the fact that they were able to get one last nude scene in for Lady Katherine (played by Tamzin Merchant) while she was practiscing putting her head on the block in her cell in the Tower.

That was inspired!

“Naked Beheading”, it should be a Saturday night game show!

But this fine piece of factless fiction does have gorgeous costumes, amazing jewellery and stunning sets.

So, The Tudors: Fiction, History or Ficstory?

Who cares?

If you wanna’ know the truth, go read a book or watch David Starkey on the History Channel.

Now where did I put my codpiece ….

Murder on the Ice Floor?

Murder on the Ice Floor

On the ice no-one can hear you scream ...

So, it looked like Jason was going to get the sack from Dancing On Ice (well, depending on which newspaper you read).

But now, praise the Lord and pass the glitter. It looks like he’ll be able to brighten up the contestants evenings for a good while yet.

I’m not saying he needs to be careful when walking down dark alleys or that he shouldn’t be looking over his shoulder every five seconds. What I am saying is he just needs the odd platoon of Paras to accompany him when he takes his seat at the judges desk.

I’m reckoning that the reason he has taken to wearing that flat cap on this series is that he’s got a Beretta snuck under there. You can never be to careful when you’re making enemies and pissing-off people.

Still, it all makes for good television and I’ll bet the producers are rubbing their wallets in glee at the publicity (and of course, the revenues) that all this Ice Storm is generating.

And if they have to adopt airport style security and pat down the contestants, the audience AND the judges before allowing them into the studio then so be it. Just open the studio doors a little earlier thats all.

Apparently the song contestant Kerry Katona (an earlier Jason victim) is dancing to this week is The First Cut Is The Deepest.